Saturday night, when we were all sufficiently lubricated and walking around the yard, my buddy Neal insisted we find out once and for all if the apple tree is crabby. Since he offered himself up as a guinea pig, I didn't argue any. I make it a general rule never to meddle in other people's affairs. Anyway, he had already plucked a low-hanging apple and bit into it before I could try and stop him, had I a mind to do so, which I didn't.

He chewed thoughtfully for awhile, which made me think he'd made the wrong decision. But then a broad smile appeared and he exclaimed proudly, "It's delicious!"

Guessing Neal wasn't one to play a cheap prank, I of course had to try an apple myself. I was right about Neal. And Neal was right about the apples. They were indeed delicious. Kind of tart like a good Granny Smith. But then we each took a closer look at our apples in the dark, after feeling the roughness, and realized we may have taken in some worms and rotting places along with the apple, but no matter, those were delicious as well.

So there you have it. A bonafide apple tree. Please feel free to send along all pie, cider, and sauce recipies at your leisure. Also, we'd appreciate some apple-tree care tips, if anyone out there knows of any.