I just read in the news that Nationwide, Gas Prices Set Another Record. And am I psyched!! Whoohoo! U! S! A!! U! S! A!!

I also just extracted some major-league boogies out of my nose. It took a little time and required a little focus and concentration, but I perservered, and was in the end successful.

So that's two great accomplishments in one day! A personal victory...and a victory for America!

Having had all remnants of free will sucked out of me by this blistering heat, I shall try to perservere...try to selflessly pen one or two new humorous quips for the benefit of my readers.

But first I'd like to send a quick shout-out to my Best Man Becky for keepin it real out there, West Coast style!

Okay. So we got this document in the mail called an Affliated Business Arrangement Disclosure Statement from Bank of America, which apparently, is the bank handling our mortgage. It's printed on very long paper. In this statement are numerous charges I believe you will find amusing. Among them are: "Consolidation Extension Modification Fee" which, thankfully, is at 0.00. Also, "Administrative Fee": $450.00. A "Flood Determination Fee" of $11.00. (and if they don't fix the rotted bulkhead soon there will be a flood). In case you were wondering, having someone Examine your Title will run you $175.00. And there's something called "Lender's Coverage" which costs $898.00. Why not $900? I don't know. Go ask a lender. We also seem to have amassed $140 in "Courier Fees" — which is something I would have gladly done in order to save that money, had they only asked. But did they? O-o-oh no, my friend. They just put it on your tab.

There's also a "Deed Recording Fee" of $375.00 which seems excessive until you consider that this money is going to the government. Also a final "Tax Service Fee" of $75, because of course there's a law: you can't have a list of fees without including at least one that has the word "Tax" in it. And an $898.00 fee for Title Insurance which basically means we no longer have to worry about Keith Oliver coming back to life and demanding his house back. And what a load-off that is!

All in all, though, it's not so bad. Our overall closing cost will (should) be around three grand, which is below the national average. So I'm not complaining. Everything's working out fairly well, though at this point Raegan and I both feel so separated from the house it's become nearly impossible to imagine that in a couple weeks we'll be living there.